


What Lies Beneath

by SweetTeaholic



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: AT - Freeform, Blood, F/M, I always save the Chargers so for my Adaar it is, I'm rabbling in my tags, Language, Post-Game, Qun, Qunari, Qunshit, With the exception of the first chapter, i guess, sorta AT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-03-30 04:46:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3923455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetTeaholic/pseuds/SweetTeaholic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She knew what an alliance with the qunari meant, Adaar learns the hard way that the Qun will always come first. The Iron Bull is dead. </p><p>At least, that's what they both believe. (I can't write descriptions ok just work with me here gawd)</p><p>Rating may go up much later on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Viqueen for Beta; Mistress_of_Squirrels and MzRogueRaz for title ideas. You guys are great!

The light shined through the stain glass windows as The Bull opened his eye. His free arm tried to block the sun’s beam. Not because he wanted to sleep in, he was used to waking up early; more than just never having the pleasure of dealing with rays beaming in his direction in the morning.

He finally just gave in and just dealt with it. Maybe next time he’ll offer the Inquisitor to sleep in his room.

And speaking for the Inquisitor…

Iron Bull stared right down at the woman of the same kin still asleep in his arms. Herah hand and head rested contently on his chest; stroking her long black hair and catching on the smell of lavender that he assumed came from a scented soup she was using.

He just watched her body expand with every breath she took in. Never did he seen her this relaxed, this happy; and that in return made him feel glad.

This was not a feeling he was use to; living under the Qun all his life. He always worried about what other people needed; and not what he did. And having something that _he_ needed; even more so since-

No, don’t think about _that_. Don’t _think_ about what happened to his Chargers; to his men. Krem, Rocky, Dalish, all of them?

Dead. Gone. Something he still blames himself for, even if it was Herah that made the final call; something he knew she dreaded. It wasn’t easy for her, to choose to support this alliance. With all her hate for the Qun, the fact she went through with it, that took _a lot_ from her. And-

No no no, don’t harp on this any longer. He didn’t want to, and he was sure Herah doesn’t want him to neither. Having her worry about him this early in the day is not the first thing he wanted to have her do when she wakes up. But...

It was why he loved her. Her strength, her spirit, compassion. The fact that no matter how hard the wind blew; she fought against it.

Bull was proud of her, his Inquisitor. _His_ Kadan. 

But he knew this wasn’t going to last forever; and damn sure she knows too. He knew after Corypheus was defeated, Bull would have to go back to the Ben-Hassrath, to the Qun. Back to being Hissrad, and not _The Iron Bull_. That man is dead, and what little remained left will be sure to dying soon.

At least, Bull kept telling himself that. Herah still believed he was alive. That’s who she still sees, and maybe that’s for the best.

But to lose something this good, this precious? _All_ of this…

The least can do is cherish every last moment. It gave him some peace, and gave her an outlet. Suppose that’s enough. _Shelter from the storm_ as Varric would call it.

But enough of this. He didn’t want to think of the future; best to focus on the present…

Bull looked back down. “Hey,” He kissed her hair as she still was in comfort in his embrace, not without catching notice of the small smile on her lips. “Morning.”

Herah struggled, but finally opened her eyes. “hmm,” She rubbed them before sitting up as she tried to get a sense of her surroundings being half asleep. “Oh, morning Bull.”

“You okay, Kadan?”

“Yeah, just not really want you would call a morning person.” She yawned. “still hate waking up early.”

“No rest for the wicked?”

“As Cullen and Josie keep telling me.” Herah straddled in his lap and gave him a quick peck on the mouth before sliding off but still by his side, stretching out her arms before turning back to him. “Are you?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

She faced the other way not paying attention to Bull getting up himself, sitting by the side of the bed as she was playing with her hair, trying to neat up but also found herself a bit lost in thought. 

And of course, Bull took notice. “You sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“...Herah?”

_And_ here goes him doing his _‘I’m a Ben-Hassrath, I can read you’_ thing he does. It was almost predictable at this point that trying to even hide the little of emotions was moot.

Herah responded with a low growl but then sighed. “I’m just thinking, that’s all.”

“About what?”

“Just...thinking.”

He just sat there eying her, waiting for an answer.

“I-I’m just nervous, that’s all. I mean, we’re closer to stopping Corypheus yet-”

“Yet?”

“What if all we’re doing now is all for nothing? What if in the end I just get everyone killed?”

“You worry too much, Kadan. You know that’s not true.”

“You say that, but...I’m scared, Bull. No, terrified. I-”

“You’re give yourself little credit.”

“Maybe...”

“Hey,” Bull tilt her head off and stroked her cheek with his thumb to calm her nerves. “You’ve survived Fade, fell out of a hole in the sky and escaped that Vint bastard by throwing a mountain down on him. With all the shit you’ve been though, you never once flitched or given up.

“If anyone can do this Herah, you can.” His forehead meant with hers “Everyone believes in you. _I_ believe in you.”

“You're right, it’s just-” 

“Hey, we got this far; hell are we giving up now.”

She felt herself feeling slighting better. He always had a way of words on her; and it always helped.

As Bull let go of her chin, Herah found herself going back in thought. “It’s been a whirlwind, but I’m glad you were by my side Bull.”

“We’re not done yet, Kadan.”

“No, we still have a way to go but…” She inhaled trying to finish her words, welcoming him back with a soft smile as she faced him, “I couldn’t ask for anyone better to walk into the fire with. You gave me confidence when I felt otherwise.”

“You going soft on me?”

Herah snorted as she rolled her eyes. “Please, I would never dream of it, but, I just want to say...thank you. There’s no one else I rather be with.”

Bull eyes focused to the floor as she took notice to the sad expression in his face. “No, thank you Kadan.”

“Oh?”

“You helped me remember who I really am, and I won’t forget that; no matter what happens.” He turn turned back to her. “You’re a damn fine Inquisitor. I hope this made it a little easier for you.”

Right then, for a reason she couldn’t make out, her gut dropped.

“Wh-what do you mean?” Her soft tone changed into a harsher one, if not a tinge confused, “You make it sound like-” 

And right then, the harsh reality hit her. “ _Was this_ just part of _your_ job? Helping the Inquisitor relax?”

Bull gave out a deep chuckle. “You seem pretty relaxed to me.”

Herah didn’t even have the gall to look at him in the eye as she felt her blood pressure rising; not that the Qunari didn’t take notice of it.

“...This was more than just a job, Herah.” He slowly leaned her down to the mattress. 

“Get the _fuck_ away from me!” 

The next thing he knew, Bull was knocked right off the bed; still feeling the impact from the Vashoth’s punch. 

“Herah, what’s-”

“Get out! Now!”

Still rubbing his sore jaw, he glared into her rage full eyes as her shadow hovered over him. Bull finally got back on his feet and was about to his free hand on her shoulder before she swatted right out of the way. “Herah?”

“I said get the fuck out!!” A strong push. Then another, and another until he was driven right out of private quarters and into the hallway, falling right to the ground.

“What did I sa-”

He was cut short as she threw his clothing into his lap. It was about another second until he looked up.

“You-you.” She wrapped her naked body around her bed blanket. Herah’s body was literally vibrating as she barely was able to hold herself together, almost on the edge of tears. “...what was this really Bull? Some Ben-Hassarath ploy? Some direction from your superiors to knock me down when I’m vulnerable? What?” She knew the feeling as if she was grasping straws but logic was so overcast by her anger that she couldn't think straight. 

Bull was unsure if it was wise to say anything to her. He wasn't sure what had triggered this to begin with, much less how to give her a simple answer.

It wasn’t until he noticed a chain around her wrist and hand hanged her half of the dragon tooth she kept, split down the middle; that he finally understood.

_‘Oh, shit.’_

“I…”

“Answer the question!!” 

“I-” but he had no answer to give. 

Her patience was wearing thin as she shook her head in disbelief. “Just...just stay away from me from now on. Just-” Herah just looked to her side before glaring back at him. He barely got to blink as the door slammed right in his face.

A few moments passed before he got back up, getting dressed before making his way down the stairs. Bull just let out a heavy sigh and kept going until he bumped into Josephine

“Ah, Bull, do you know if Inquisitor Adaar is in her qua-” 

Just kept on moving, not even saying a word or giving an eye to the ambassador. She thought nothing of it however. It wasn’t until Josephine heard whimpering from the other side of the walls when she became worried.

“Lady Adaar?” She knocked, but no answer other than hearing more crying. “Inquisitor?”

The door slightly creeked as she entered the room. “Lady Adaar, if you have a moment I wou-”

Herah was by the side of the bed, face down as she arms wrapped around her head as she couldn’t hold in her emotions no longer. She already put on a oversize button down shirt that she used normally as a nightgown, tugging on the fabric in frustration. 

This only had Josephine on edge as she slowly walked up to the Vashoth and kneeled down. “Herah, what happened?” 

The very touch from the other woman’s hand on her shoulder startled her, causing her whole body to jump. If it wasn’t for the sound of her voice, she would have assumed it was Bull and lashed out again. Herah finally turned around, glassy eyes glaring into her’s.

“Is everything...alright?”

She only shook her head as response before leaping into her chest, trying not to hit Josie with her horns; as she finally started to burst out in tears. 

“He _lied_ to me Josie, he-he-” Herah’s own words were getting swallowed up as she kept crying out into her arms. “He played me, it was-”

“ _Sssh_ ,” Josephine hugged her tightly but tenderly, hoping that it would give her a bit of comfort. Herah continued to weep, mumbling out words as her adviser listened. She felt betrayed, confused.

She knew that the Qun forbid romances, let alone sex for love; but she should have known better. He broke his own rules before when he was still Iron Bull; someone he kept telling himself never existed but that wasn’t what she saw in him as she tried to comfort him and offering friendship in his time of need.

But now...

She kept telling herself before even getting into this stupid _relationship_ that nothing good would come out of it, but he took down her defenses. She fell into little his trap or whatever the hell this was in her mind. She _opened herself up to him_ , feeling safe, calm, and most importantly, loved for who she is as a person; not who those follow her look up and all they see is the Herald. 

Herah wasn’t fully sure if Bull was using this as a Ben-Hassrath tactic to get information out of her or that he was truly genuine when he said this was to get all the weight of being the Inquisitor off her chest; but it still didn’t matter. She fell in love with someone that she thought she could trust and now all she was left with was heartbroken.

The Vashoth calmed down enough to finally speak clearly. “I was so stupid…”

“I’m sorry my lady. I truly am…”

\--

A chilled breeze blew over the battlements of Skyhold as Herah stared into the distance. It’s been a long day; coming back from a few weeks trip back and from the Hinterlands and right back into meetings in the war room as they planned out the final preparations for the Arbor Wilds. She really hoped it would have been more than a few days before heading out from just returning; but hey, at least she can sleep back in her own bed for a while suppose to a tent.

This was it, the final push to stop Corypheus once and for all. At least she hoped. It had been a whirlwind that’s for sure, and she just wanted it to all end so the Inquisition can kick back and breath with the only thing she had to worry about was politics and nobles clawing down her back.

“Herah?”

The sound of a familiar voice however that she was grateful to not have heard since her time away.

“I told you to stay away, Bull.” Herah didn’t bother even turning around to look Iron Bull in the eye. 

Not even a peep out of him, just standing there trying to find the right words. Bull knew she was most likely still mad at him, and didn’t want to make it worst.

A growl. “What do you want? Or is this just another one of your _jobs_ to waste my time.”

He reached out to touch her shoulder. “Kadan-”

Herah quickly revolted by swiftly turning around as she gripped his hand tightly yet strong enough that he bit down on his teeth. “Don’t call me that, and don’t _you dare_ even touch me, Ben-Hassrath!”

He felt his stomach drop just hearing her call him that. Back in Haven, she would use the very term he was a part of as an insult among other things. Granted, he never blamed her or called her out on it being Tal-Vashoth and Ben-Hassrath mix just as well as water and oil; but she grew to trust him over their time working together. 

And just hearing her going back to that, he knew enough to see that trust was broken.

“Listen, I know you’re still upset at me; and I won’t fault you for being so but-”

“But _what_? That a _savage_ Tal-Vashoth would be too stupid to notice when they’re being played with? That someone’s feelings didn’t matter as long you got what you wanted? What, tell me?”

“I never was trying to play you, let alone use you.”

“ _And_ I’m suppose to believe that?” 

“Have I ever lied to you before?”

“I don’t know, you tell me. You’re the spy after all.”

This was going no where, both knew that but Bull still insist they try to patch this up even how stubborn she was being. He owned her that much.

Silence spanned for a good long while. A little too long.

“So,” Herah crossed her arms, not giving him the luxury of more eye contact that she already given, “What did you tell them, huh? Did I drop any hints that could be used against me? I’m sure bedding the enemy gives them so many things to work with. Better you chain me up and sew my mouth shut while we’re at it. I’m sure that’s on their to do list.”

“Herah, are you even listening to yourself?!”

“Oh, I’m listening; and I’m sure you’re taking notes, right?”

“Hey, the Qunari and Inquisition are working together, remember?”

“And _at what_ cost, Bull?!” She literally felt her body shaking again just from the mere mention of this alliance. “How long do you expect it to last?! You know the Qunari, you’re one of them; you know what they do to those who don’t follow their neat, structured little religion!”

“But _they_ aren’t here to do _that_! And you agreed to this, don’t blame me that you made this choice!”

Her face took an alarming change from frustration to unease. “No, I don’t blame you. I blame myself…”

Bull put on a frown. Shit; not the best choice of words.

“...I blame myself for all of this. I went against my own beliefs, against everything I was taught; I-

“-I haven’t written to my family since then.”

“And what has this got to do with the Qunari?”

“ _It_ has everything to do with this! Do you know how big and well known the Inquisition is? Word travels, Bull. How am I suppose to approach my family, _my own_ parents; that I now have Qunari at our door? How do I justify this?”

“I doubt they’re going to disown you because you made a choice that will-”

“Well, guess who already did do that? My old Merc gang, the Valo-Kas, _my friends_ , already told me that it’s best they cut ties with us. Because they’re scared that the Ben-Hassrath are reading our reports to them. And even if my parents didn’t disown me; they have to think something of this, right? 

“I’m scared of what they’re going to say to me, what they think of me? That their daughter might have put the whole world of Thedas in danger of something they tried so hard to escape from. But you wouldn’t understand that. You don’t families under the Qun.”

That very last thing she said hit him right in the gut. “I’m sorry.”

Herah then shook her head. “Only thing I have left now is the Inquisition, and even then most still look up and see only the Herald of Andraste, or the Inquisitor. And then just for a little while, I thought I had someone who didn’t.”

“I know, but I still don’t.”

“No, you most likely see me as nothing but a tool.”

And there it was, what Bull was most scared of her to say.

“Herah, that’s not true. You weren’t some objective that I was ordered to get something out of.”

“And if that was true, did you really mean it?”

“Mean what?”

And she felt herself getting winded up again. _Mean what_? Are _you_ serious? 

“I felt safe around you, I felt that I had someone that would have my back no matter what. And then you told the truth; knowing that you only did this because you felt you had to.”

“That’s not-” No, she had a point there . This relationship did originally start out as a way for him to help her relieve stress, Bull didn’t lie about that; but it turned into something more than he expected it to. Even he was confused by this; knowing that he was breaking his own rules in the progress.

 

“You said that this was just a job, Bull. After everything else you’ve told me, after saying you wanted this. You could have been honest with me if this was only going to be casual.”

“Herah, you had to expect that under the Qun that I couldn’t-”

“You’re right, I _should_ have…” She then reached into her pocket and took out her half of the Dragon Tooth. “Here,” She threw it hard, hitting him right between the horns as it dropped back down to the ground beside him. “You could have this stupid thing back.”

“Herah, I…”

“From now on, _Hissrad_ ; I don’t want you anywhere near me unless I order for your assistance. Once Corypheus is defeated, and the Ben-Hassrath hopefully agree with me; I want you out of Skyhold. Do anything that any of my advisers or I disagree of; I’ll kick you out sooner. Do I make myself clear?"

No comment.

“Do. I. Make. Myself clear?”

“...yes.”

She caught a ting of grief in his reply but thought nothing of it, she was too caught up within in herself to even care if it did sting. “Good.” She spun around and walked to the stairs to the courtyard. “Goodbye Bull.”

He just watched her stomp off with nothing but guilt in his mind.

Ever since his Chargers died; he kept blaming nothing but himself for it. And the choice, hurt her just much as it hurt him. And now, the closes thing he had left for a friend was gone...

He glared down to her dragon tooth and kneeled down to pick it up, holding it in his palm. The tip chipped off from the impact of her throw and the chain teared apart. 

He fucked up. He _fucked up_ badly.

Bull never lied to her that he felt something, but he knew well and good that this wasn’t going to work out well in the end. There was a high chance that the Ben-Hassrath would have called him back to Pal Vollen, taken in with the re-educators and he would return to his old life; erasing all that was good. 

There was nothing left in Thedas for him. His men dead; his collages hating him, and now Herah…

The sooner they defeat Corypheus, the better. Then he could go back to being the Qunari he should be. The Qun is all that matters now…


	2. Fic Disconneted

Hey guys.

I'm sorry for those who've been waiting for the next chapter but sadly I am going to discontinue What Lies Beneath. Both personal and lore reasons:

 **Lore Reason:** I've played the Trespasser DLC. While in my canon Inquisitor's (Herah Adaar) timeline, Bull is Tal Vashoth and both living happily ever after; this fic was suppose to be sorta a AU in that regard. However I have seen videos on Youtube of his betrayal and realising it would be completely OOC for him to continue this in the way I planned + I debatably already got him so in the first chapter. I'm still happy with the end result so I'm not going to delete this off Ao3.

 **Personal Reason:** I lost interest. Grated this both plays with Trespasser, but really; I just don't see any reason to continue a project I'm not happy with. That and being I all readying have two major projects in two other fandoms (Lost in Reality for Ratchet and Clank and A Family Affair for Overlord) that seriously are late for an update. I won't be posting up new chapters on here but they will be on FF.net. Same username as on here. 

I haven't lost interest, just been too invested in Dragon Age that it's hard for me to write the other two. They'll update in time, I swear!

 **On the brightside of things:** I do have some cute Adaar X Iron Bull fics in the work, one -hopefully- will be up very soon plus a mini story as well. And for your angsty needs however: I have another big project in the works but don't expect it up any time soon. It'll be a while, but just something to look forward too.

Anyways: I do apologize for those who have gained interest in this story. Hopefully the new things I have planned will tie you over.

~SweetT

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, I lied about the next thing I'll write being upbeat. Sorry guys, angst is kinda my thing.
> 
> I always save Bull's men with the exception of one of my Inquisitors (Not my canon Adaar, putting aside the story follows her). I can't make myself to let them die and canonaly do believe that the Inquisitor said 'screw the Qun' IMHO. This was just an idea that I got after watching video's of Iron Bull's romance if he stays with the Qun. Seriously Bioware, the Inquisitor being told that 'this was another job' would make me want to just punch him in the face right there. So I decided to play with this idea a bit which was suppose to be just this chapter but more ideas started piling up and...
> 
> Ugh.
> 
> Hate everyone who made me write this! THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE JUST A ONE SHOT STOP LETTING ME START BIG PROJECTS WHEN I'M NOT EVEN CLOSE TO FINISHING MY OTHER TWO GAWD!


End file.
